My Husband is Verbally Abusive

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“My husband is verbally abusive and I don’t know how to deal with it. This has been a problem for a greater part of our marriage. He has never physically harmed me, but the constant put-downs and verbal abuse have made my life miserable. “

Verbal abuse is used as a technique to gain and maintain emotional control over your spouse. Does your husband use name-calling, swearing and other forms of condescending speech? By doing this he is convincing his partner that she is unworthy of better treatment.  In most cases the husband is highly manipulative and refuses to take on personal responsibility for the difficulties in the marriage. Most women eventually silently accept this flaw in their husband and end up living in an abusive marriage for years.

If your husband is verbally abusive there are two things you need to know about your situation. First, verbal abuse from a spouse is more common than you may suspect. Many couples may project a happy and stable image to their friends and family, but behind closed doors there is a surprising amount of emotional and verbal abuse going on. That’s why many people have devoted a lot of time, thought and energy to coming up with solutions. Among them are some very gifted and highly qualified marriage counselors and therapists. One such marriage counselor names Amy Waterman created a course called Save My Marriage Today to help women that are in situations just like this.

The second point is that a situation where your husband is verbally abusive isn’t good for either of you. A home filled with verbal abuse is destructive for everyone in the home, including children. That’s why something must be done to change the dynamics of your relationship as soon as possible. Taking on a submissive attitude and hoping change will come isn’t the answer. Usually, time never changes anything and your husband will continue to do what he has always done.

What Can I Do If My Husband is Verbally Abusive?

Like with any form of marital despair, the first step is to investigate your options before taking any steps. All too often women in an abusive relationship think they only have two options, submit to the abuse or file for divorce. This just isn’t true. There are a number of different methods to break a negative cycle and restore happiness to your marriage.

The first option is to contact a local marriage counselor and set up an appointment. A counselor will be able to help you recognize how you have become brainwashed by your spouse. Many women need to be “woken up” by a professional to see how they have resigned to silent acceptance of their husband’s behavior.

The second option is to try Save My Marriage Today. This course was developed by Amy Waterman, a well-respected marriage counselor, and has helped thousands of couples figure out the answers to their problems and rebuild an intimate marriage.


About The Author

Alice is a loving wife, proud mother and avid blogger that now hopes to help others learn from her past mistakes. She is the founder and editor of GuideToMyMan and blogs on a variety of topics relating to marriage and relationships. Learn more about her and connect with her on Twitter @GuideToMyMan


  1. My husband is verbally abusive if I disagree with him but I fight back because I’m not affraid anymore but it is like a battle zone and he won’t take any responsibility for his actions.
    I still love him but I’m prepared to end the marriage as I have had enough we have a family and it’s hard but I no its not normal to live like this Can you offer some advice on what I can do I’m lost

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