Being married to a bipolar husband can add a lot of unnecessary stress to your marriage. The constant changes in mood can make your love for each other seem exciting at times and frustrating at others. In most cases, the wife usually, no matter how much she loves her husband, can’t keep living with the roller coaster of emotions and files for divorce. But, sometimes, there are a few success stories that truly show us the power of love and how actively taking steps to fix your marriage can pay off in the end! Let me tell you about one I found out about recently!
Recently, one of my readers, Emily, emailed me to tell me about her own personal situation. Emily’s husband, Rob, developed bipolar disorder about two years ago. But, for the first six months they didn’t know what was wrong and causing problems with their marriage. She said it “frustrated me beyond belief since I didn’t even know what was wrong. Sometimes it felt like we were strangers that didn’t know how to deal with the other person. After six months of dealing with him, I was tired, frustrated and didn’t even know why I was still married.”
Well, eventually they tried looking for some help online and found my site recommending Save My Marriage Today and decided to give it a shot. After starting the course, they realized their problems might be due to a personality disorder and got checked out. Well, it turned out Rob had bipolar disorder. Emily went on to say that “the diagnosis made it easier, because we finally knew what was wrong. Now we could address the problems and figure out solutions.”
Now fast forward four years. Emily and Rob have made great strides and feel as though their marriage is finally stable again. They now have a six month old son and have just moved into a new home!
I was truly touched by Emily’s story and asked her to write up 10 tips she has learned about living with her bipolar husband. Hopefully her experiences will help you fix and save your own marriage!
Emily’s 10 Tips
- Take A Breath – Take a deep breath and step back if the frustration or anger is building up. It’s the disease and not your husband.
- Find Support – You are always focused on his needs. Find a support group for yourself. Family members of bipolar patients can help you talk things out and get things off your chest. Developing a support system for yourself will only help you support your bipolar husband better.
- Find Space – Take a trip by yourself to get some space form your husband. It doesn’t even need to be that far away. Just treat yourself to a day at the spa or go shopping for the day. It doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you’re happy.
- Make Sure To Laugh – Laugh together. Even if the day or week has been frustrating for the both of you, try to make him and yourself laugh. Humor can bring you two together; even if the situation is tense your love can find each other through humor.
- Strictly Enforce Medication – Make it extremely clear that he has to take his medication, especially on his manic days. If he refuses to take his meds, leave and spend the night at a friend’s house. You need to show him you’re serious about his medication and aren’t afraid to leave. Usually that’s enough to get him back on his meds.
- Recall Your Love For Him – Do things you both love. When we first met, my husband and I use to always get a cabin in the woods and go fishing together on weekends. Well, whenever we get tired or frustrated, we will spontaneously agree to leave for the mountains and go fishing! It brings us back to a less stressful time and relieves a lot of stress. Remember, his mood may be unpredictable but he is still the same man you fell in love with.
- Watch Out for Triggers – Keep a careful watch and look for environmental triggers that may influence his mood swings. You can also look for soothers that keep him calm and stable.
- Ask Him – Your bipolar husband can always tell you what he is thinking, wants or needs. Just be honest and ask your spouse what he wants you to do when he is in an undesirable mood. This way you can
- Talk To Him– Communication is the key! Talking and staying by each other’s side during mood swings is critical to managing the intensity and duration of the swings.
- The Essence of Marriage – I always knew that I married my husband for better or for worse. I know having a bipolar husband can be difficult, but he is still the man I fell in love with. That man might not always be there, but he is still there enough for me to not want to leave. Would I want him to leave me if I developed a disorder? As long as I follow these rules, I know I will find a way to be there for him and help him with whatever he needs.
Well, there you go! Thanks for the advice Emily; I’m sure it will help a lot of people out!